The Staff Fridge

I will admit that I am guilty of taking a soda or two that didn't belong to me from the staffs fridge. We've all done it, and if you haven't well your a stronger person then the rest of us.

Since I started at my current employment though I can proudly say that I've never taken anyone's food or soda from the staffs fridge. Not that I'm saying that I wasn't tempted once or twice with the Ham and Cheese Hot Pocket that has been in the freezer for about 6 months during one of my 14 to 17 hour work days. I was very tempted in fact, but I had to keep reminding myself that my tongue would thank me latter for saving my taste buds from a volcano burning death for the next month. So I would just run over to Wendy's instead.

Lately though the staffs fridge has become very tempting again. My receptionist is currently pregnant, and has now started filling the fridge full of goodies. Being the supporting friend/co-worker that I am, I have not touched her food. I learned the hard way along time ago when I took my sister's leftover chines food when she was pregnant.  You would of though I'd stolen a diamond necklace from Tiffanys. Needless to say I learned my lesson.

This week my pregnant receptionist is on a cinnamon bagel with pineapple cream cheese crave. Breakfast, Morning Snack, Lunch, and Afternoon Snack it's been bagels with pineapple cream cheese.

We both were on our break and were headed to the staff kitchen. We could hear our boss on the her cell phone talking extremely loudly.She dose this when clients are in to make it seem like she's extremely busy working on a project when really she's just talking to her mother. When we walked in we were shocked to what we saw next. My boss was sticking her fingers into my receptionist Philadelphia Pineapple Cream Cheese and was eating it. She did this three times and then put it back in the fridge before she notice that our receptionist and I were standing there.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! THAT'S MINE! IT HAS MY NAME ON IT!! My receptionist said in horror.

My boss ended her phone call and quickly said. "Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry, I was so hungry. I'm only going off of 4 hours of sleep. Here I'll go buy you a new one.

HA! No, she never went and bought her a new. She actually finished it off latter that day when my receptionist went home.

This women never cease to amaze me on how much my opinion of her can go any lower then it already is. Than she goes and does this and now I just want to gag just thinking about it.

17 Hour Work Day

I worked 17 hours straight yesterday. I didn't get home till 5:00am. Needless to say I'm exhausted. How I got home this morning I truly don't know, nor do I remember because I was so tired. I called my boss and told her that I was done for the day. She than told me
.
"Don't come in, you've worked so hard. Turn off your work phone, I'll take all the call tomorrow"

Actually believing her I turned off my work phone, and I slept in. I'm Not going to lie, It felt so good not having to have my phone go off 30 times this morning. Knowing that my small piece of sanity was to good to be true, I than get a call at 10:00am this morning.

"Why the hell aren't you here! I need you to here right Now! Why don't you have your phone on? My work phone has been ringing off the hook!"

Welcome to my life, I thought.

"You told me I could take the day off since I worked 17 hours yesterday and this morning."

"I never said that!"

"Uhm...Yeah you did."

"Get here as soon as you can, I need you to run the place while I'm out at a meeting."

I latter leaned that when she meant meeting, she meant going shopping at Savors. It's times like these that I keep asking myself. WHY? Why do I put up with this? I deserve so much better.

TGIF Self Portrait

This picture is a current self portrait of myself. I started work yesterday morning at 9AM and I got home around 1AM today. I wish I could say that at 5PM yesterday I left work and was out with friends doing what any single mid twenties women would be doing on a Friday night. But no I was guilted into finishing up my bosses wok, and being the push over that I am, I did what she asked me to do. I worked 16 hour straight. No bathroom breaks, and no food breaks. Needless to say that this picture of this cat is a very accurate self portrait of myself right now.. 

Sorry I'm Late....

My Boss comes into work between 11:30am to 1:00pm every day. Lately it's been consistent at 12:15pm though. We're supposed to all be there in the office by 9:00am, but she doesn't have to be there because shes gets to sleep in, go to the gym, makes her way through her favorite thrift stores for the latest deals, and goes through the McDonald's drive thru right before running into the office. She is of course sweating in a black sweat suit that I'm pretty sure hasn't been washed in a couple of weeks, with no makeup on, hair all matted and pulled up in a high pony tail. I cannot tell you how many times she has come in and a client sees her like this. It's so embarrassing.

There's always a new, "Sorry I'm late" excuse. These are just the ones I heard from this week.

"Sorry I'm late! I was up watching Breaking Bad late last night."

 I watched half a season of Breaking Bad in a night and made it to work on time. Not an excuse.

"Sorry I'm late! There was a sale at the thrift store." 

That's no excuse for missing the weekly staff meeting. Especial if it’s for a sale at a thrift store.

"Sorry I'm late! My sons failing at school."

That has nothing to do with you being late. That's called bad parenting.

"Sorry I'm late! I found the greatest deal on Craigslist list!"

You look at Craigslist at work anyway you might as well look at Craigslist at 9:00am in your office.

"Sorry I'm late! I was up all night wondering how we're going to get you married."

Now that's just creepy. I don't even lose sleep worrying about that. I don't know why you are.

If you own a business never show up late and lie about why you are late.You just lose all respect from your employees when you do.  

Comet Makes Your Cement Floors Clean

My boss is the biggest penny pincher I know. She and her husband plead poverty, while also at the same time they boast about their house on the hill that over looks the city, and how they never get to use their timeshare in Palm Springs. They're raking in the money. I know this for a fact, because I work the books on my end, and my friends work the books on the other end of their business. So I  know for a fact that they're not poor by no means, but to say your so poor right now that you can't even afford to have someone come in and clean your own office space is like saying cars don't have wheels to me.

My office is a disgusting mess. Why anyone does business with this women after they walk in and see how dirty the place is is beyond me. Why I'm still there putting up with all this crap I'm trying to figure out as well. Instead of hiring someone to come in and wipe it down once or twice a week. The job went to my bosses husband, who is our accountant, but I  honestly can say that he watches more YouTube video's during the work week then he does any accounting.

My co-workers and I finally got so fed up with having to work in such disgusting conditions that we even offered to clean it ourselves for a $100.00 a month, which if you ask anyone in the office cleaning business is a very generous deal.

"Oh no that's to expansive! We can't afford that".

Really? Your losing customers because the bathrooms reminds them of an outhouse they went into during their Cub Scout camping trip in the 90's. It's not that hard to throw in a little Comet in the Sink and Toilet, Scrub it, let it sit for a couple of minuets, and then flush or rinse it out. The staff kitchen area reminds me of a scene in a hoarders episode. I always do a full body shake just thinking about it.

You may ask, "Why don't you clean it up than if it's that bad?" Well I have, many times I have cleaned that place from top to bottom, but I have never not even once got a Thank You. The full time YouTube watching Accountant Husband took all the credit.

So I said, "Fine, no more. I'm only going to focus and work on what I get paid to do". And ever since then the place has become a filthy mess.

"I just don't understand? Jeff was doing such a great job at cleaning and now it's like this." I heard my boss complaining to a co-worker of mine. I started laughing at my desk when I heard this, I'm pretty sure she heard me.

"I think right now I'll clean the floors." I heard my boss say, and the next thing I see is Comet spread all over the cement floor. Needles to say our floors have never looked so streaky ever since.  

My Psychopath Boss

I'm not going to beat around the bush. My boss is a complete psychopath. Why I stay at my job is still a mystery to me. There are some days that I just want to silently pack up my things and without a word or even a letter of resignation, walk out the door and never look back. Other days I day dream of telling her exactly where to shove it, garb my things and storm out. Some days I even wonder what would happen if I were to send a complaint to the labor commission, or even to the IRS. I honestly think I would stick around just to see the look on her face for that one.

I'm the type of personality who keeps everything inside. I'm a people pleaser and a pushover, but people pleasers/pushovers have their limits and mine have finally been reached, For example, last night I was in the emergency room for a slip disc in my lower back. I call in this morning.

"Hey, I'm not coming in today. I'm heavily medicated and I can't move without sharp pains going down my legs and up my back."

Her response "What?! I need you to work from home than. I have clients calling left and right, You can't miss a day of work!"

What? Who does that to their employee. Honestly? Who makes them work from home when they can barely move, because of excruciating pain radiating from their spine.

Being the pushover that I am I said. "Uh, sure what do you need me to do."

I could tell you so many other stories about this women. Some that would make you laugh, gasp, and even ask why she hasn't been thrown in jail yet. In order for me to keep my sanity until I can finally put in my two weeks notice in this is where I will share my story, and I hope none of you have to put up with the things I do on a daily bases.